trying to come up with reasons for why to try to start up a small cottage business, one big one. i need the money. i need an interest. i need a project and a way to participate in life. i like produce and making things. I like my product. I wish I had a partner to help me. I often want sexual comforts and romance and can't find it. I feel so alone and poor while others wouldn't bother doing this because they are pretend to be poor. I really am poor. I just can't get a real job so I have to create one. I can't make men love me. So I have to go without til one will like me. i need a future. it looks pathetic and small ideas. i wish i had more money, looks, creativity and someone who had faith in me to restore me.