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Somewhere on Earth;
(Potentially triggering but I need to vent right now)
So I'm body dysmorphic. I'm a 5'7 female and currently weigh 54kg (about 120 pounds, I think). I've fallen into horrible eating habits more than once before and lost drastic amounts of weight in the span of days at a time- sometimes up to 7kg (15 pounds). My lowest weight was 47kg (103 pounds) and I looked sickly.
I'm scared to death right now that I'm falling back into my old ways, I just feel so fat and worthless- relapsing into my previous eating-disorders seems like the easiest option... But I don't want that. I don't want to be stuck days on end starving and depriving myself of nutrients, but I just hate myself right now. I hate feeling fleshy- even when I see other girls who carry any extra weight they look cute and hot and I just hate that I can't look at myself and feel the same way.
I don't want this for myself, but I know how fast the weight drops when I starve, and it just seems so easy.
I don't know what to do...