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did you ever had a one night stand?
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9.10.2017
InfatuatedOver40;  female;  42;  United States of America;  ; 
I'm infatuated with a man I work with. He's very smart, considerate, attractive. I'm about 7 years older than him. He has a girlfriend that he sort of lives with. I'm getting divorced, but it has nothing to do with this ridiculous crush. I keep fantasizing about the possibility of us being together, and I (mis)interpret his words and actions as indications that he returns my feelings. I sent him drunken text messages saying that I was -thinking- of him. He didn't reply, but did ask me about them later. I was so embarrassed, having convinced myself that he didn't get the texts. I didn't confess to having feelings for him - just apologized. That was over a year ago. To his credit, he didn't tell anyone and hasn't treated me any differently. I've never told anyone. My feelings for this man, inappropriate and irrational as they are, won't go away, even though I remind myself over and over that he doesn't have feelings for me. I feel like such an idiot.
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10, 19, 2018
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