So, I've sat around for a while trying to figure out what my most internal problem is, and here it is: I hate my body I hate my body, so I try to make it up to others by giving them all of myself without hoding back to make myself feel worth it. I hate my body, so I flaunt it to milk any praise I can get out of others so that maybe, maybe I can hate it less someday. I hate my body, so I let guys treat me like trash, because it makes me feel like that's the way I deserve to be treated. I hate my body, so I tried to make it perfect by doing all sorts of things that were wrong and unhealthy. I hate my body, so I am envious of others, not even just those with bodies which look like what I want mine to look like, but also those who have bodies they are proud of in general. Because I want to love myself. I hate my body, so I sell my soul to others and get it crushed in return, but then again what does it matter if my soul is crushed? I still hate my body even after that.