There’s shit wrong with me. I want to die, most of my mental illness is because of how I was molested when I was 5 by my brother. I go to a creek close by my house and think about drowning myself in it. Or have fantasies of killing me brother and even innocent people to see how it feels. Then I would kill myself. I don’t even like my body. I want to be a boy so badly and yet in a girl. I’m sick of life and all I can think about is killing people and not have to worry because I would just die. I don’t know why I feel like this.