i don't want to live anymore. i thought that i did, but i don't. it's just too much, life. it's too much to wake up everyday, go to work, and come home. it's too much to wake up everyday and do nothing. everything in life takes hard work, and i'm fucking tired of it. my family wants me to get a job and go to school. they should. i'm a lazy ass piece of shit. the thing is, i don't want to. i know i have to do something, that life has to continue on in some fashion, but it'd be so much easier if everything could just stop. i don't hate life enough to kill myself. i wish i did, if i'm honest. make things a lot easier for everyone in my life, including me. but no, i just want to poof out of existence. maybe one day i'll get the guts to carry through with it.