I want to die or disappear. Everything feels so stressful like I'm not doing enough. But I can't bring myself to do anything more. I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. I do not have to worry about anything or anyone. I wish I was in complete silence, with only music. I find that is the only thing I can listen to without getting angry, sad, or just in a complete turmoil with my own identity. When I speak with someone, I find myself criticizing myself, meanwhile getting irrationally angry with the other party. I don't know what to do, I wish I was in a different time. Maybe I would've been happier. I wish I had someone to be there with me, to love me, and to understand me. But then again, I doubt I will ever find that person. I don't deserve them. We're not going to last, I know because of the type of person I am, unlovable. I hate life. I hate everything. I hate myself most of all, I wish I died. I want to disappear silently and painlessly, it sucks not being able to do anything.