I went to a sex site.

I'm really angry with my former psychologist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. He didn't explain what this actually meant. He was very cold and distant with me. This not what someone who is constantly suicidal needs. I didn't need him to do anything but care. I didn't expect him to put up with my behavior (eating disorder stuff, cutting, suicide attempts, drinking, abusing my medication); but, it would have been nice if he actually gave a damn. He actually fell asleep during one my sessions! I freaking hate him right now. I'm so angry. I feel cheated out of time, emotions, and money.

I've struggled with bulimia for almost a year now. I realize how I'm just ruining myself with it. It's a selfish, horrible disease in which I'm determined to beat. I'm committing myself to better habits to control my weight...like fitness and nutrition.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for a few months now and have been waiting for a really long time for us to be a couple. But now that I'm with him, I'm so scared that I'm not good enough for him. That I'm not smart, pretty, athletic, street-smart, or graceful enough for him. I'm so convinced that it's true that it has become crippling for me. I get so paranoid when I'm not around him that I'm even scared to call him cus I think he'd just reject me. It's not until I see him again that I know that he really wants me. I just can't help feeling so inadequate.

I heard you went back east. I wish things didn't break down like they did. I still think about you and will always miss you. I should have told you how much you meant to me while you were here. I will always love you. Te amo meho.

When I was 15, I met The One. I found out after our first date that she was 2 months pregnant. I don't know how to get over it. I wish I could have had the power to abort her baby or at least freeze the embryo and be with her. Why am I not over it? I'm in love with how she was, not how she is now, engaged to someone else with 2 kids. I finally wanted to get help, so I was going to tell my uncle all about it 6 months later, three days before Christmas Eve 2003. At the same moment I put off calling him until the next morning, he died in a car wreck that very night. I've only told close friends indirectly that I know a friend who went through a teen pregnancy. They have no idea that it eats me alive how I feel incapable of ever loving a woman wholeheartedly, that I thought about putting my dreams on hold to be a father, how I've consistently thought about pressing the reset button and trying again...I have no idea how to learn and grow from this. I need you. I really need you.

I was the reason that they broke up. It was my fault, and i thought i'd be happy at first cause i finally got him, but now i feel awful. He was so devastated by the break-up that his repressed anger built up by the spiraling relationship came out and now he is challenging any who bother him. I feel awful cause i wasn't as innocent in my intentions as everyone thought. I want him so badly, and i do believe im falling in love with him, but i will never forgive myself if something happens to him. Regardless she didn't treat him right, and i knew i could do better, but if it weren't for me this probably never would have happened... I'm sorry meow. I'm so sorry.

I have just left school. Last year I met this amazing girl in the year below me. We became very friendly and I enjoyed talking to her. Now even though I am no longer at school I still talk to her regularly. I love her, but i'm afarid if I tell her how I feel about her it might ruin our friendship. She makes me smile and I miss seeing her in school. She had a crush on 1 of my best friends which made it really difficult for me, but that has faded now and I'm finding it hard just being friends with her.