I dance around naked while listening to nirvana.

In less than six weeks I'm going to be leaving the country permanently to accept a job offer in Japan. It's been planned for a good 8 months, but the reality is only now starting to set in, I think because I'm seeing how it's affecting my best friend. We've known each other since high school, and have gone through alot together, and every time I see him he is more and more visibly upset, which is a little unnerving because - at least outwardly - he's your typical tough guy. What complicates this is that, for the first few years we knew each other, we had a weird, semi-sexual relationship. (We're both guys, he says he's straight and has a girlfriend) That's long since over, but it's still much like a relationship - no secrets, and we can see right through each other. He's getting really clingy, and is starting to act how he did when we were fooling around, and I don't know how to take it or what to do. What's worse, I'll be staying with him for 2 weeks before I leave.

I have been continuing to smoke even though Ive told many people that I quit 6+ months ago. I feel like a failure. I HATE smoking. I know Im weak for not being able to stay quit. And the reason I haven't told others I still smoke is because I don't want them to feel like I let them down, as I have so many times before. Especially my dad. I feel like a child running around hiding while I smoke, it's ridiculous and immature. I need to quit. I am going to give it one last try. I will quit this weekend and it WILL BE FOR GOOD. Anyone have any advice to help me in my quitting process to be able to STAY quit? Ive used the quitline, quitnet, and I will be using the nicotine patch again this time along with the gum. if you respond to my poll with "something else" I would appreciate a comment or message of what it was that helped YOU. Thank you! :)

I'm mad at him. I gave up my scholarships, my work, my money, and my life for him and now he condemns me for what HE did. I have no one else to tell because he's the only one that talks to me anymore.

I'm so sick of the way he treats me, but I can't seem to find any way to let him go. I love him so much and every time I'm with him I'm reminded of it...but when we're apart he treats me like crap and makes me out to be some sort of joke. He tells me about how he's going out looking to find something better than me but I just wish he'd come back to me already instead of just using me as a fuck toy. And, I REALLY wish his friends would stop telling him I deserve to be treated this way. It's bull and I don't even feel like a person anymore. I'm sick of hurting like this but I can't force myself to make it stop.

I'll just say it. I'm in love with my best friend. She is amazing... But I can't get myself to tell her. I don't think she'll feel the same.

Last night a guy started talking to me on AIM that I didn't know. I didn't purposely try saying something to make him stop like usual, and he ended up being a nude model for a drawing class. He then told me that he was incredibly small and that the students laughed at him, and he followed up by sending me pictures. Sure enough, he was small, but the thing is there was nothing sexual about it at all. It was almost sad, and kind of funny. We kept talking about size and how it sort of matters but sort of doesn't, and he was perfectly okay with telling me how small he knew he was. Here's the secret: I have a boyfriend, and if I can help it I won't tell him about this minor encounter at all. I might tell him that some random person started talking to me, but he won't know about the pictures. They're deleted from my computer, as well as the chat log. I just needed to tell someone about this that wouldn't over-react like most... or all of my friends would.

He says nothing is wrong, I'm almost 100% sure he's not cheating, but the problem with having a long distance relationship is just that... the distance. We hardly talk, and when we do, he's always really quiet. At the beginning, we could always have hour long conversations and keep it going. He was spontaneously sweet and romantic and I loved it. It's only been 4 months and the spark is already gone. I don't get to see him for 2 more weeks, and I just hope we make it until then. He says he's been busy, so then he's tired, and I'm hoping that it's just that, and when he comes to visit things will be great again.