I'm in love with a woman almost 40 years my senior and have been for the past 4 years. She is happily married, has 2 daughters and four grandchildren, and, worst of all, is my teacher. We're friends and every time I have a conversation with her, I realize that I will never be able to have the one thing I want most in this world: her. I constantly feel guilty about harboring these feelings for her without her knowledge, but I know that if I tell her it will both kill the friendship and ruin her and I could never do anything to cause her pain. Michele, you will never know how much I truly do love you. Everytime I see you but can't hold you, it kills me a little more.

sometimes I question if I love him, but I can't let him go because I couldn't live seeing him touch another woman. I hate how I am unable to show any emotion in the most important times. I can't tell anyone but my boyfriend I love him (not even my family), or I cringe, even if I mean it and want to say it. I lie a lot. I am really good friends with my ex-boyfriend and still want him to think I'm attractive, but I can never let my boyfriend think that, so I talk shit about my ex all the time so my boyfriend won't know. I hate porn and everything pornographic. I am VERY VERY jealous. I can't help it. Every little thing gets me jealous, even though I do things that would make him jealous. I don't like to open up, even though I'm doing it now. I guess it's the anonymous thing. I rarely feel guilty for things, but get my feelings hurt at the drop of a hat. I WANT to be a good friend, but don't have the drive and motivation to be.

My boyfriend and I started going out in September 2005, but at the time we didn't see each other a lot. We live an hour apart, and we only saw each other about every other weekend. In December, I felt frustrated with everything. An ex-boyfriend called one night and we went out, got a hotel room for a few hours, and that was that. We did the nasty. 3 times. It honestly didn't mean anything to me and I don't know why I did it. I think I was just bored. I felt horrible but pushedi t out of my mind and tried to forget. Almost a year and a half later, my boyfriend and I are still together and I love him more than ever. We're so close and still live apart, but spend every weekend together and are getting a place this summer. I don't thinka bout what I did any more, and I know if I tell him, he won't ever want to have anything else to do with me.

i'm losing myself...these past couple of weeks have just been hell and i'm so lost. i can't get in touch with my therapist...i want to cut myself again or just disappear from the face of the earth...it wouldn't be hard...really the only thing that's holding me back right now is the fact that i am graduating in 5 months and i'm not about to throw that all away cuz of some stupid teenage angst... but really i feel like shit... and i need a hug

When i was 8 i was made to grow up. I learned to take care of myself and everyone around me, even the adults. But it took time, and before i got the hang of it i was overweight for my age and grew up the fat girl in school. And i hated it. ANd i blamed my weight and my problems on being fat, and my loneliness on being fat. Now i am at university. And i have control over me, and only me. And i did what was right and in 3 months have gone from a size 8 to a size two. But you know what. Everyday instead of hating my fat, i hate me. Because now i can't blame being fat for the lack of attention from men. I can only blame who i am, and the ideals i thought being skinny would bring to be true. I lust after guys i thought i would get, and i still cant get them, they go for bigger girls. And instead of being skinny and happy and having friends, i get depressed at not being noticed and end up doing crunches and running. We are all taught by magazines that skinny is beautiful,new lessons suck.

Some girl called me a dick head which is kind of ture but jokes on her because she cuts herself and uses sex for validation. I may be a dick head but I wouldn'tswap lives with you if you paid me.

I'm better than you and I know it. You think I'm modest and that I'm friendly and kind; really I despise the way you eat with your mouth open and talk about pointless crap all the time while listening to the latest rubbish on the radio or watching Big Brother. What have you done with your life? Not as much as me, I bet. I'm smart; really smart. I left my home country when I was 16 and I'm very proud of that. I am highly musically trained, I sail, I'm attractive; people fall in love with me at the drop of a hat. Two people even moved to another country to be with me. Why can't you do something productive with your life? Why do you give such a shit about making money and buying nice things? You bore the shit out of me, to be frank. What are your hobbies? Oh, you like drinking? Clubbing?

i quit smoking for 5 months. but for the last two weeks before this week, Ive been smoking and no one knows. im going to tell them all, and i quit again last monday, so its been a week.