i always get so fucking emotional at night. i dunno what it is. i'm 17 but i wanna be married or soemthing. i hate sleeping alone, i hate that i have no one to talk too. i have aquaintences, and everyone thinks my life is so perfect. i just smile and play along. i'm crying as i type this. i know i'm being a loser cuz ppl have much bigger problems out there. i used to be a cutter, and i feel like doing it again now. i don't wanna be like this. i dont even know what i want..

Continuing on with my confession, when I turned 19 I felt that I had enough at home. Not that it was a bad life or that I was mistreated, but it seemed that everything bad that could happen did. I couldn't take it anymore, so I left, unfortunatly I didn't get very far. I was too proud to ask for help, & I soon ended up living on the streets. It was horrible, I was reduced to litteraly eating out of the trash, fighting just to stay alive, trying not to get raped. The things I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life. I knew I had to get out, so I stole some money from a convieniance store, to pay for a bus ticket home. (I have payed the money back anominuosly) I got help, and now I have a good life. I probebly should do something to help the homeless, but I don't want to remember the things I went through. I don't like it when others know what I went through, I hate the look of pity or disgust. I'm not an example of overcomening hardship, I just want to forget.

In october at a birthday/halloween party i got completely wasted and ended up making out with my friends room mate. I know the dangers of drinking, know my limit and never drink with strangers, so thats not what tis is about. But after making out, he starts pushing me to have sex with him. I'm a virgin, and I def. did not want drunk sloppy sex to be my first, but he kept pushing it and pushing it, and after I said no for the fourth time, he acted tired and turned over and went to sleep. I got so angry because thats not how you treat someone. A month later I find out that he did the same thing to a mutual friend. Only instead of her being drunk he got her drunk. I'm not the only one he did it to, and I feel kind of relieved. I don't know why I was so afraid to tell my friends what had happened. He's been ousted now, it's come out he;s done it more than twice.. and people have stoppd talking to him about it. I've moved on, and don;t even think about it that much any more.

All my life i have been let down by the people who should be there for me. Now i find it hard to trust myself and everyone else that comes into my life. I have a fear of heartache. Yet when i'm trying to avoid it i only hurt myself more not to mention the guy i was dating. I am afraid i will never be able to love whole heartedly because of my fear and because of my trust issues. I need some help!

I'm totally in love with this guy whose a c4 years older than me, I'm not a slut and I've known him for 2.5 years and all we do is have sex-- no friendship-- no relationship and Idoubt he loves me, although he's been more intimate and talkitive with me lately. What does it mean, does he loveme??? I just wanna be his girlfriend or the girl he cant get out of his mind what can i do, what would you do???

I have been trying to lose weight since I'm 16, I'm turning 21 now and I am not happy with my body. I feel like losing weight would make all of my problems go away. I blame it for not finding love, for fighting with my family, for hating my friends. I pour myself into studying because I figure that if I can't have a perfect body I can have perfect grades and a great mind. My sister is 16 now and develping the same complex. I'm worried that I created this. My mom is tiny and healthy, she never pressures me about weight. I created this all by myself. Sometimes I think about eating disorders but I like food too much. I'm a size 4, 145 lbs. I'm not even that fat. Am I?

Overdosing failed. I tried to kill myself once, I took over twenty sleeping pills, now, what I didn't know was that herbs can't kill you. And almost every day since then I'm so thankful I didn't die. And to think, if I didn't have those herbs that night, I would have taken regular pills, and wouldn't be here today, I wouldn't have gotten to become so close to many of my friends (that are practically family) and I wouldn't have expierienced all the amazing times. And I wanted to die over a guy who wasn't even worth to waist a thought on, just one silly relationship that soon ended, and I'm more then extremely grateful it did. :-) Remeber, everthing gets better in one way or another. Wow, glad I got that off my chest :O

I hate everyone. They make me sick. People are just pathetic and lonely. They try to hide it, but there's really no point. Eventually we are just going to die. There is absolutely no point. No point at all. When I see people, I don't even see good things, I see flaws and that makes me disgusted with myself. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or a cutter. I'm just lonely and depressed and I just wonder what I have to do with anything. Is it all just random peices of bullshit? Or is it a wreckless attempt to make anything in life meaninful? I feel like no one actually knows me, and I certainly don't really KNOW anyone. I don't think I've ever had a real discussion with anyone in my family except my sister...and it's just sad that I don't connect with anyone on any real level. Forget the drama, forget my anger toward my parents, and forget this fantasy world we build up for ourselves. When you take all that away, I have nothing, I really have nothing. Phew. Just had to get that off my chest...