its graduation time and im a senior but im not graduating. Ive had thoughts of suicide. People tell me I have alot of potentiol and thats good and all, but im lazy so whats the point of having ht potentiol if im gonna be lazy? Ive tryed to stop being lazy, dosent work. While walking to school today an image flased in my mind of me sitting at the stop sign by the school with a 9mm in my hand and parts of my skull on the bushes. ive had images in my head of haning my self, slitting my throat, burning myself, slitting my wrist, suicide from a gun, falling from a high spot, and just other things. Life dosent suck, i know ill graduate next year, but yet I keep having these thoughts. I told a councler about it and he isnt helping much. Its been a month since ive seen him because he wasent helping like i said. Ive got a burn on my body that im ashamed of because I wanted to hurt myself. I cant hide it easy. I need some help, but no one will help me. Some one msg me with advice!

my ex girlfriends mum used to make love to me when she was at work. she was amazing but i always felt guilty after.

There's this guy I've been with over a year now. We have a pretty kinky relationship. Sometimes I wonder if it's all purely based on sex. But I do care for him, if the mood strikes me. He says he loves me. Yet, he persuaded me to have sex with a stranger for our own kinky amusement. I enjoyed it, I won't lie. But now I have this nagging feeling that he only wants me for sex. I mean, could you really persuade someone you LOVE to have sex with someone that is NOT you? It doesn't sound like love to me.

I have had constant thoughts of suicide in recent weeks. Actually I've never been right since my dad died years ago. Obviously I haven't acted on my dark desire, nor have I ever let anyone in on my secret. But people often come to me for advice when they're feeling suicidal, and I always try to talk them out of it for one reason or another. Somehow I can't stand the thought of anyone else committing suicide yet it seems fine for me.

For the last 9 months I have been seeing a fella, who is not my "boyfriend" and we see each other when he comes to town, I like it this way. He works n lives in a city which is an hour and abit away. He would love me to come to see him, which I don't, just for that reason alone. He's SO ATTRACTIVE!!! When he comes to see me, he has this huge smile on his face, it warms me up, its very touching. I don't consider him permanent in my life, I know I like him, and he is oviously attracted to me. Which is more than I want right now. I'm very busy with my family and community, I'm going to go back to school, to learn more, while he is "stuck" in his life. He wants me to be there emotionally, I'm to busy to motivate. Right now, this, is what I want, and that is what he says he "wants." The problem is his actions speak louder than words. I don't know where to go from here or how to tell him, I don't want more than where we are right now. Phewf!! I feel better saying this.

I Went out on an excursion to Vancouver BC last three day weekend and slept with a couple girls. Although i have a girlfriend here where i live, I think it would be fine if i told her. I should tell her but i think we will break up. And the thing was i did it conciously. I thought about her and then decided i wanted this girl more than i cared for her.. I think we'll end up friends.

It's been about 4 months since me and my good friend stopped dating each other. I found out 2 weeks ago that while we were dating each other, he went up to my friend's cousin. She was complaining about her bf and he was not sober. He told her, "why dont' you leave your bf and get with me?" She was obviously not okay with that and he dismissed it as joking around and walked off. Even though we were trying so hard to rebuild the friendship, I could not deal with what kind of friend he turned out to be when we were dating. He hit on girls in front of me at a club one time. He tried to send me a long e-mail telling me why he couldn't be happy with me... 2 months after it was over, instead of telling me immediately why we had to end things. He just input my screen name in Google to look up any journals I had on the internet. That made me so pissed off. I know weblogs are public domain, but c'mon.. isn't that really nosy? He blames me for our friends disliking him.

Just 2 weeks ago, I was driving around town looking for a place to work. And, I ended up applying at the place that the girl I like works at (she's one of the manager there). So anyway, I've been working there for about a week now.. and I've finally got to talk to her a few times. Most of the time it's her that starts the conversation, even though we don't talk much. Plus I work during the morning/day and she works evening/nights. But, we do see each other once in awhile at work.