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An anonymous e-admission by an unregistered user.
I guess it's nothing new or special but right now I can't really help myself so here I am. Although I knew for years that I'm not straight but never even said it out loud to myself. It seems impossible to just tell people who I really am. I guess I don't really know who I am myself and this is just a emotional breakdown that I'll feel awkward about later. But it seems an impossible jump that once started cannot be stopped. Cannot be taken back. And it's exactly because I can't make these jumps I feel like I'm standing on the edge of an abyss just waiting for the gap to increase. Perhaps I'm just a broken emotional wreck that can't trust even the best of people but even if I try I feel pushed away. Is this my cry for help? Not really. I just can't imagine not saying this even if no one ever reads it. Right now I just feel like I have to say this. I can't even imagine how cringey this is to read I apologise :P.
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theangel;  male;  28;  Somewhere on Earth;  ;  7.10.2018
Well, you said it yourself : you can't even tell yourself the truth. The first thing to do is to '' force '' you to admit it. Before talking to someone, try to talk to you. It could be alone, or in the dark, or how you feel the most comfortable with.

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