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d3lus!0nal.K!dz;  female;  24;  United States of America;  ; 
I've been in and out of mental hospitals, struggling to not kill myself. Recently, I've been having really bad intrusive thoughts about my family. I force myself to think about my dad raping me or me raping him. And my younger brother. Sometime I force myself to imagine myself raping a helpless kid. I'm so disgusted with myself and I think I'm going insane. I feel no pleasure form this, only disgust. is this normal?
 Is it normal to have gruesome incestuous thoughts?
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watrhous;  male;  47;  United States of America;  ;  31.10.2021
There are demons that introduce wicked thoughts into all of our minds. You need to reject them, humble yourself and call upon Jesus Christ to save you from these fiery darts.

Ephesians 6:14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

The bible is real. it is Gods true word. He hears and sees those who call upon him in sincerity of heart. Ask him to help you, change you and deliver you from these demonic forces.

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nothingnew23333;  female;  38;  Algeria;  ;  12.12.2021
No, this is not normal, but it IS a great sign that you are questioning these thoughts. I don't believe the other comment on this post is beneficial at all - God is not what you need.

What you need is genuine, medical help. Therapy, psychiatry, etc. - people who are trained to deal with mental illness medically. Your struggles are VALID and likely TREATABLE. I truly commend you for being able to confess your thoughts publicly, as it shows you have enough self awareness to consider your desires before you act on them.

My advice is to please speak to any mental health professional and tell them that you have some intrusive thoughts that you'd like to address. You don't have to tell them any details you aren't ready to. Ask if they can refer you to someone who works with mental health specifically, as a specialist will be able to help you more than a general doctor. I have a bit more advice but I'll type the rest in another comment

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nothingnew23333;  female;  38;  Algeria;  ;  12.12.2021
(my 2nd comment) - I have struggled with some intrusive thoughts too, and sometimes they are inappropriate or violent, like yours. I have quickly learned through therapy and medication though, that they are manageable and they do not accurately represent my true desires.

I sometimes feel violent, but I am not violent by nature, if that makes sense. So, when I have a violent thought, it's not because I am a violent person. It's a fleeting, impulsive feeling that overwhelms me for a moment, and I only need to deal with it for the moment that it overwhelms me, and once it passes I can compose myself again.

So, maybe this could be a case of poor impulse control, like me? Or perhaps there is something in your past that you haven't confronted yet, and makes you a bit easily angered in some situations? Whatever it may be, it can almost certainly be eased with professional help. Even if it doesn't fully resolve the issue, it couldn't hurt to seek some advice. I wish you the best!!

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