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An anonymous e-admission by an unregistered user.
I'm too young. I wish it were different. I found someone who I truly connect with. I have never felt like this about anyone so far. I feel comfortable around him. I have never been an open person. I can't open up to anyone, not even my parents or best friend. I build huge walls around myself. And for so long I was fine with that. Sure, it was lonely at times, but I could deal with that. It never affected me much. But now he came along, and I feel so happy. I get a big stupid grin on my face whenever talking to him (he lives in the next state; we call) and I find myself thinking about him a lot. I know it isn't just infatuation this time, cause this feels different. When I'm with him I can lower my guard a little. Remove a few layers of my almost impenetrable wall. And I know he feels the same way. But I also know that it can never become more than friendship. I'm 14. He's 19. The age difference is too great. I just wish I met him at a point where 4-5 years wasn't too much.
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7, 5, 2022
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