I hate you for what you did to me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I carry the scars, and hear your words repeatedly – making me small and meaningless. I hate you for the time I wasted begging you to love me, want me, and appreciate me. I hate you for haunting me still. I hate you completely and wholly - with all that I have. But as much as I hate you, I love you even more. You don’t deserve it. You never did. I loved you then with an unconditional love; a love that ached in the face of torment and misery; a love that endured regardless of circumstance, and endures yet still. It is my portion, my sentence, my punishment. You will never know it. I doubt you ever did. I just hope one day I will be released from this burden. I want the freedom to feel; to want; to love that deeply again. He will get what you never wanted. I will get from him what I deserved from you; what I yearned for; what I fought for. Until that day, I sit, I remember, I hurt, I cry.

I can't stand this stuation anymore. I can't see my best friend (we are friends since we were 11) because my wife doesn't like his wife. Infact she is jelous of my friend's wife. Because they just had a baby and we can't have a baby for a long time. And she is incredibly beautiful girl and I dated with her when I was in high school but now she is like my sister. God!! she is the wife of my best friend, how can I think such silly things about her. But my wife can imagine such things!! I can see my friend alone but it is not possible every time. You just can't call out a friend married and has just had a baby every time. Family meetings are ideal but I am tired of my wife avoids that.. Honey, I love you but can't you be a little bit self confident??

It was me who screwed my life due to overwhelming ecstacy abt sex.Since school days I was sexly involved with multiple male/female partners. A yr after marriage(wife is exgrlfrn), diagnosed wit cancer & got treated, tat reduced my sperm to NIL. 3 yr passd we'r not in good terms & not sexly actv for 3 yr. She wanted divorce 4 various reasons & i accepted. Meanwhile i met a interesting grl & dating her. Recently a new shock came tat I was infected wit Herpes & traces of past Chlamydia infection. Doc told chlamydia causing defective sperms & less motility of good sperms. My wife knows abt infection bt not abt how i got them. She postponed her divorce idea for some reason tat I don know. I told my recent grlfrn tat I don wan to infect her by kissing or by other ways. she's ok wit tat as c likes me a lot.I luv my wife and am doing everything best tat I can do to her.I don know wat is there in life for me. Just passing every day with lots of hatredness and anger towards life.

I want to confess a few things, firstly.. I have stolen a few times, i always felt bad for doing it though i had done it more then once. Recently i have stopped and question the meaning of life, why are we here? I also 'fooled' around with my brother/dog when i was younger, its embarrassing and cant believe i done it and regret what i done. Anyways, I've been searching for an answer to why im here in life some years later, I feel lost, I just want guidance and want to know if there is a meaning. I feel like i have prayed to god and in someway things have turned out i want, but not in a 'obvious' way and i feel i have let him down by doing these things and just hope that he will forgive and come and help me out. Hopefully this message will get heard and god will send me a message or help with what i am meant to do. Sorry for boring you :)

Just when we were about to fall asleep, she said -Is the toilet seat up?. Its been a long way from, "is the iron plugged? or Is the door locked?" stages.. I am considering to secretly consulting a doctor.

After a long, dysfunctional -relationship- with a guy who was my friend and lover but never actually my boyfriend, I finally broke free of it. Only to relapse into missing him and hanging out with him once more -as friends.- We had always been 'drinking buddies' and thus, the night we hung out we proceeded to have a few beers and hang out how we used to--laughing, watching tv, talking on the balcony. It was a seemingly good turn of the times...Stupidly, we ended up sleeping together in a very drunken state..him coming onto me, at first I resisted, but gave in. I ended up getting genital herpes from him that night from oral sex. It was my initial outbreak, as proven by bloodtest (lack of antibodies in blood, but confirmation of virus on skin.) He has never shown signs of it, but it turned out to be type 1 --the cold sore variety. Today, I also broke out with my first ever cold sore and it's HORRIBLE. He refused to get tested, never did. He goes on unphased and I am forever changed.

I reached a point today where I realised that I just don't have the strength to go home anymore. I'm tired of the fighting, anger and loneliness. I'm tired of being the only person who has to carry everything, the finances, the stress and keeping everyone motivated. I also want to be selfish, I also don't want to care how much my actions hurt the people around me, I also want to be the only person that matters to me. But I can't, hey? I have to shoulder the burden again, have to push down everything that I feel, have to act strong, have to have all the answers and have to keep on sacrificing so that others can get exactly what they want. Yes, I'm that sucker, I'm everyone's punching bag, angry at something that happened during the day? Sure! Take it out on me. Decided you don't like you look? Sure! Here's more money you didn't bring in to go and blow. I would love to know what you would do if I didn't come home...

l am a 14 year old girl. I am madly in love with a guy at my school. Somemes I have sexual fantisies about him even though I am a virgin. I know I will never be good enough for him. Is it normal to have fantasies at this age? Please tell me.