There's got to be more to life than what I'm experiencing now... There HAS to be. Sometimes I feel so desperate about life; like I'm missing something huge right in front of me.

Everytime i cry my boyfriend asks me to shut up, fuck off or stop whining..I am so desperate to melt his heart ..i just want him to want to hold me and protect me whenever i cry ..id do anything even make myself sick or harm myself physically. I feel that it is my fault he does not feel the need to comfort me or hold me because my personality is not bubbly in anyway and im always somewhat morose...I also have revealed to him that my exes have sexually, physically and emotionally abused me..Right now im scratching my thighs and arms with a pin..a habit ive had for over 11 years and im not posting this for attention but more for advice..how can i melt his heart?

I got married and bought a house, it sucks. I just want to be back at college living in a rented room free to do whatever i want.

So everything is going to hell!!!!! my boyfriend is hiding something from me and i think its his ex.... and now my stupid stepmother has convinced my dad he needs a paternity test!!!!!! i look just like the man! and he basically said he wont talk to me now and everything is so screwed up im unhappy and i have no one to talk to my boyfriend just says im whining about everything but this stuff is KILLING me and its like dude can someone just listen and help instead of making me feel worse and my boyfriend made a new myspace refuses to add me and told me he deleted it which is a LIE!!!! and i dont know what to think of it i mean he wont even check the thing if im in the house and thats just shady as hell!!!! and he gets mad and says im accusing him of things when i ask him to show it to me and im just fed up! i just wish life made sense again and it was easier to be happy........

The guy that I was with for just over 6 months up and left to go back to the wife he left for me because she treated him like crap. He completely devestated me and tore my heart up. We still talked on the phone for a while and tried to be friends, but his wife started doing her old tricks. "I'll just leave." "I don't want to get in the way." He thinks that she's changed and I see right through her crap, but he won't see it. Finally, I had had enough of it and called him up and said that this was the last time that I was going to speak to him again. I told him that I hope that they have a happy life together, but he's kidding himself if he thinks that things are really any different and that he gave up the one person that loved him unconditionally for exactly who he is. She'll manipulate him into being someone other than who he really is. One day he'll see that and resent her for it.

It's Jenny here again. I made an admission on 5/19/2008 anonymously and I'm back to update. I've done some creative writing for my teacher (the one I fancy) that was a little bit naughty. I had to do some descriptive writing and I talked about diving into cold water on a hot day. I included lots of stuff about the sweat clinging to my body, water kissing me, making me gasp - that sort of thing. I hoped I might make him think about me and my body in a subtle but sexual way. He's now told me that he really, really liked what I wrote. He's asked me if I write for myself and to show him anything I write if I want to. Does he know what I wrote was a sort of come on? Is he now coming on to me? It's all a bit confusing but really hot too. I'm really tempted to write something really sexy for him that goes much, much further.

What am I supposed to do? Why am I still with her? I care about her but this is going nowhere. It's just making us both unhappy. But I'm scared. What might she do if I do break up with her? Her many emotional issues make it very difficult to break up with her. I could never forgive myself if I broke up with her and she killed herself or something. But then I think, perhaps I'm not giving her enough credit, perhaps she's strong enough. But everything she says and how she seems indicates that if I broke up with her it would ruin her. But being with her is killing me.

i want to talk to sumone but nobdy actually understands me. i'm a girl who is still in love with my ex-bf. we hv a vry comlpicated relationship b4 cause he has dis other gal and still he wants me by his side. i jz tot we could always be bestfren but he treated me as though i'm a lover. eventually, behind my back he is being all flirty wit my bestfren. i realize he's a jerk and hv the gut to leave him, its been more than a year from dat tragedy. since then, everday i feel dat something inside my heart is empty n feels not right. i've been frens wit him for more den 5 years back den. i miss the presence of him n i jz want him to alwys be by my side eventhough if it is jz a fren. i tried to 4get about him, i even burned all the stuff dat reminds me of him but dat never work. i want to call him but since he started all of dis, i think i shudn't. but i want to know hw he's doing rite now n at least i want to see my future is wit him even if it is for being jz a bestfren.