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Flytrap_kitty06;  female;  24;  United Kingdom;  ; 
Everytime i cry my boyfriend asks me to shut up, fuck off or stop whining..I am so desperate to melt his heart ..i just want him to want to hold me and protect me whenever i cry ..id do anything even make myself sick or harm myself physically. I feel that it is my fault he does not feel the need to comfort me or hold me because my personality is not bubbly in anyway and im always somewhat morose...I also have revealed to him that my exes have sexually, physically and emotionally abused me..Right now im scratching my thighs and arms with a pin..a habit ive had for over 11 years and im not posting this for attention but more for advice..how can i melt his heart?
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bigbobbyboy;  male;  29;  United Kingdom;  ;  8.7.2008
You can't. Teh more you act like this, i.e. the more needy you become the less he will be interested. Either finish with him or stop being so clingy.

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helpful;  male;  48;  United States of America;  ;  10.7.2008
dump him...he doesn't really give a rat's ass about you.

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nobodyknows78;  female;  30;  Somewhere on Earth;  ;  11.7.2008
I'm totally convinced that the ONLY way to make a guy protect you is if he thinks it's another man putting you in danger. If you're hurting yourself there's really not much he can do and he thinks you're just trying to get attention. If another guy is hurting you or bothering you he'll take up for you and his jealousy and protective nature will show. If he still doesn't respond to this, he is a creep and just probably using you for sex. Sorry to be so blunt, but maybe that's just how you need to hear it. Only problem is, putting yourself at risk just to impress some jerk who's telling you to "f@ck off" when you're crying. Sounds to me like he's abusive too like all the rest. Sadly, doormats attracts men who like to rub their dirt on you. So the BEST choice is...get out.

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tide;  female;  19;  Australia;  ;  12.7.2008
No girl, NO! Sounds to me like you're in a habit of being attracted into bad relationships, and since that appears to be the case of your past, maybe you should take a careful look at things right now as to what your current man is like. Don't make a preemptive judgment on him in any way, but call in some close friends or family members and talk to them to help give you some perspective on him and all this. You've already revealed to him you have problems and need comfort. The least the guy should be doing is to try and get you some help and work with you through all of this. DON'T HURT YOURSELF 4 THIS GUY OR ANY OTHER!

Also, sorry to say this and I don't mean it badly or judgmental having had situations where I didn't want judgment myself, but you really, really need to start seeing a counselor or someone that can help you about your self image, confidence, what you've been through. You need help. Telling your family or friends how you feel & what you've been through is needed to.

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mytwocents;  female;  48;  United States of America;  ;  3.8.2008
You need to stop TRYING to do things to get his attention, be it negative or positive. Move on, and always remember, no matter what that you have the ability to change only one person, and that is YOU. I suggest you remove yourself from this one sided relationship and focus on yourself. Get to know yourself and love yourself before trying to love somebody else. Until you are happy with yourself you won't ever find happiness with anyone else. If you are hurting yourself, hoping to get attention from another, STOP!! It is obvious to them and they will use you and abuse you until you're an empty soul. As long as you're there as their doormat; punching bag (be it verbal or physical); or their financial benefit, they will take advantage and when you're used up, toss you aside and find a new victim. You need to find a local organization/group to help you. A good start is in the telephone book, "local government" section. Good Luck!

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bb13;  female;  18;  United States of America;  ;  16.8.2008
You need to leave this guy, NOW!  He is only going to make you cry more than he already does.  You need to discover who you really are and what you want from life.  Once you love yourself, so will others.

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