I'll openly admit that I play around when it comes to serious love or relationships. But the reason why is killing me on the inside. I hate to admit, but there was a guy that I loved so much, he was my everything. But after he left me in the worst way ever, I changed. I'm so different now and I don't know how to go back to myself, I feel like it'll be impossible to go back to the person I was. If I had a chance to restart everything, I would take that chance. Recently there was a new guy I was into, but he gave me flashbacks to the first guy I've ever loved so I didn't know what to do. I was also talking to more than one guy. I didn't take any of the guys seriously, I loved watching them get hurt... I wasn't thinking and told them to leave me. I was scared incase they hurt me like the first guy..I was afraid one of us might hurt eachoher, I was sure one of us would end up extremely hurt. I think I'm hurting others to show that love hurts but idk why tf I love hurting other people. Help