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An anonymous e-admission by an unregistered user.
I have severe depression. I fight myself every day to hide it, because I am the rock for so many of my friends and family. I'm the tough guy. The problem solver. The hero. Mister Fix-It. I wear a fake smile and constantly entertain in hopes no one will ever know the real me. I have a nice life, good job, good pay, loving girlfriend great friends, great brothers and some awesome nieces and nephews. Despite all the wonderful things I can't find happiness. There is an emptiness inside me and it grows by the day. The voice in my head is brutal. Most are their own harshest critics, but for me its an extreme case. I belittle myself until I feel like a failure. I tell myself the best thing I could do is end it all now so everyone can go on without me. The one thing I cling to that keeps me from hurting myself is the thought of what it would do to all the people who need me if I were to take my own life. The thought of protecting them from that is all that keeps my demons at bay.
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medeea;  female;  27;  Germany;  ;  16.09.2016
Hi! I don't know if you'll ever see this message, but here it goes: It seems that you have a pretty good life there, you have a million reasons to fight that feeling inside you.I think you should open up about it, talk to the closest person to you, maybe your girlfriend, your mom, your best friend. You do NOT need to go through this alone. I bet your family, friends, girlfriend love you and will support you. Yes, it's nice to always have mister fix-it nearby, but I think your family just wants you to be happy. About the voice in your head, it must be trained, you have to repeat to yourself that what its saying it's a lie, complete bullshit. You are NOT a failure, you've said it yourself, you have a nice life. Please don't think about s..(I just cannot say the word), life is beautifully imperfect. You are just going through a bad phase in your life, you will get through this, just please talk to somebody about what you are feeling inside. That's the first step in chasing away the demons

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damaging;  male;  37;  United Kingdom;  ;  17.01.2017
I hear you mate.  My mother committed suicide when I was younger, and knowing  the damage this caused has been one of the main reasons I holds back when I feel at a loss.  I have many things going for me right now, but it wasn't always there case asked time had caused me damage.  I have no life saving advice to offer, simply that you are not alone.  I often think in years to come science will come to realise that society is poorly constructed for certain types of people such as you and I, and will help our future sufferers function without the burden of this empty feeling.  I can only say this - continue to take care of yourself, and try to crossed a few dreamed off your bucket list.  It's not a cure, it's a distraction.  Take care mate

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brostuff;  male;  23;  United States of America;  ;  16.03.2017
Dude you have so many people that care about you. I care. You seem to be doing so many good things with your life. You make other's happy, and you may not feel it your self. But look back at the past and what good you do. You suffer from depression, it's a mental thing and it's not your fault. Alot of people have the same problem. You'll work through it, tell your loved one's how you feel and they will support you ever step of the way. Just try to find some happiness in small thing, and the meaningful.

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