The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was 12. Started by my brother-in-law innocently wrestling with me, but quickly evolved into his hands massaging my chest and exploring other parts of my blooming body. I didn't know what to do as his lips grazed my neck; that was the first panic attack I ever experienced. I thought I would die; I couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, couldn't anything. I was paralyzed. When everything started to dim, the Brother-in-Law started to shake me. I remember how everything felt like it was in slow motion suddenly jolting to 4x. I couldn't understand what had happened, or if it were even real. As I grew older, He kept finding me alone. I don't know how many times he came to me over the years, but he only stopped when I confronted him. I am now what is referred to as an Adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. I feel obligated to reach out to others, if I can, but I am but one person. I hope this admission of weakness gives others strength.