I was engaged and fell in love with my best friend. After ending my relationship I only waited a month before starting the new one with my friend. My new partner kept the relationship a secret. Said they didn't want my ex to know and hurt themselves. And this continued for six months. Six. Until the stress of the secrecy, lack of communication, and pandemic became too much to bear and we split. Knowing we still loved one another we split. It just wasn't working out. Be it different love languages or something else we just couldn't make it work. So now I grieve a relationship that was both my best and worst. I wonder how to move on when you lose your best friend and lover all in one go.