i want peace. i crave peace. my parents are overbearing. i barely know one sibling and my other sibling is emotionally volatile and sees me as a primary source of their happiness (overbearing, again). i am pretty sure one brother-in-law hates me; the other brother-in-law is just straight up strange. i am not close with my dad and my step-mom due to years of emotional and psychological abuse (abuse they will vehemently testify having happened). i have recently gained clarity on a very important friendship that i realize is now dwindling and coming to an eventual end. i just, i want to move far away. i want to make a calm home. i want a loving husband, and great kids. i want a bright, loving city to live in, as light as a city can be, anyways. i have so much love to give but the world i am in right now seems to take my heart, put it in its mouth, chew it, and spit it back out in my face. i'm tired.