Somewhere on Earth;
I don't restrict for other people. I do it because i want to be beautiful, thin and pretty for myself. I do appreciate you calling me beautiful or lovely, but that's...not going to -fix- me. I see in the mirror some fat slob who's the butt of every fat joke you tell, and someone nobody can take seriously because every step jiggles and thunders. I do eat. Otherwise I'd be dead. I just eat in small amounts most of the time, and occasionally binge like a monster. I hate and love talking about this stuff- I love it because i never get to, and hate it because it makes people worried and I feel like I'm a wannarexic and don't have an issue with eating. Nobody wants to hear me go on about how drop dead gorgeous some models are, or how chips are a waste of calories. They want to hear how i'm making progress...not wanting to be scary thin, or anything about my disorders...and that's ok! What isn't is how people insist they want to but i know they just don't. Because it's scary for them. Oof.