I used to judge people who self harmed, I thought they were seeking attention or just too weak to handle life. Summer of 2020 I had the worst mental breakdown of my life, I wouldn’t eat for days at a time and could hardly complete simple tasks without sobbing. The thought of self harm never crossed my mind. I spent the next year putting myself back together only to fall apart again in the summer of 2021. I wanted the pain to stop more than anything. I took a knife to my skin and felt pure relief, only to feel the most intense remorse and regret of my life just minutes later. I spent the next weeks forcing myself to sleep at early hours of the evening just to avoid that late night sadness that leads to the urge to hurt myself. I wish I didn’t understand why people resort to self harm but I do now. I wish I didn’t but I do. My advice: don’t. It’s a small bit of relief that only leads to more intense suffering in the aftermath.