i forgot how to do long division and multiplaction and im in the 9th grade. this whole pandemic made me rely on calculators.

I met the love of my life, my wife. She is amazing. However her mother is a repulsive villainous person, who has given her so many complexes, abandonment issues, constantly gives her back handed compliments. Her mother is a covert narcissist who has a favorite son. She is a high key misogynist. When I met her she played this victim story about the abandoned wife, then all my sisters and bros in laws told me how she was a party girl who made 8 year olds drive to get booze. She tried to play with my feeling, except i have 0 sympathy for her. I see her as a duty, i want her to be alive because I know the love of my life loves her. But I find her lack of accountability and guilt repulsive. Everything about her.

i just found out that my new life insurance pays out for suicide so i suppose maybe there isn’t a reason to stay as much as a bonus for going they’ll be happier and i won’t hurt

I've been infatuated with this guy for around 3 years. I think he's just toying around with me, that he thinks it's funny that someone can -love- him, can feel this way for him, for so long. Like he thinks it's amusing that he can make me react the way I do. I know I use my feelings for him as a distraction from the larger problems in my life, from my mental strife, but it's come to a point where it has become one of the recurring thoughts that plague my mind. I want to die with these feelings, it's like a burrowing hole is clawing its way through my body. I like him but there's no substance, no enjoyment out of it. My soul, my essence cannot stand these feelings, I shake whenever I know he's there. I know there's something wrong with me. The meds that are supposed to work aren't working and I'm scared. What if I'm just a lazy, piece of trash who clings onto any semblance of normalcy? What if I'm not depressed or my anxiety disorder isn't real? What if I'm inherently a failure? idk

i've been in love with a guy for almost a year now. we used to have mutual feelings and flirted often, but it never went past that because i was too terrified of losing him. i shoved him away a lot. i regret it so much, but i can't help pushing those i love away. he has a girlfriend now and we barely talk. i can't stand it. he talks about her so often and he always cancels plans on me. i just miss him so much. i want to feel those butterflies i felt when he called me pretty. i want to call with him for hours on end. but, i can't do that anymore.

I know this might sound bad but when I was 7 I lost my virginity to my girl best friend although it was consensual I still think about it to this day.

It took me nearly 18 years to figure out how to masturbate. (I'm 18)

I used to be so scared of death, absolutely petrified. The more life goes on, the less I get scared of it. I am abused and neglected by family members, I am trying to recover from addiction of drugs and self harm, I have no partner, I'm trapped in a scary situation, I isolate myself from all my friends so I don't hurt them. Nothing seems worthwhile anymore. I'm getting more impulsive. I tied a belt around my neck and tried to strangle myself. I back out but I keep trying to do it, each time, going a bit further than the last, making sure my vision gets more and more blurry each time to prepare myself for the real thing. I have nothing to hang myself on but I'm sure I could find something if I tried hard enough. It probably won't happen, I'll probably pussy out of it, as I always do, but I like to keep my options open. My life is so miserable, I don't want it anymore. I'm so alone in this dumb world.