my neighbors are capable of incrediable evil and I hope it comes back to haunt them.

i still love colb . I am being bullied to say otherwise. which isn't helping my situation with this other loser who raped me who I keep saying no to and mean it , where as with colb I feel bullied to say no or I don't like him when its far from the truth. I just don't want to be the one hated for ruining his life cuz I am a sexual abuse victim and no one ever wanted more for me then ugly rape. and I am sick of it. this guy who did rape me wants to control my world. I dont feel its fair. I want colb . what can I do?

i am deathly afraid of people. i struggle. it's difficult to accept liking women. i am filthy. i want to disappear. i keep thinking that i want to feel a woman's body, completely neutrally. i feel humiliated. i'd want to wear a mask and gloves so she wouldn't be forced to see me or feel my skin. just once, if it was okay, because i feel like i need to know. not romantically, not strangely, i promise. please, forgive me. i barely think about it, but when it occurs to me, i can't get it out of my mind. it's painful. i'm not lonely, i don't feel human. i'm okay with being this way forever, i can barely use the internet, let alone go outside. i feel fragile and unstable. i could never form another human connection. but for a girl to let me touch her, just once, maybe it would be enough to absolve me of this shame. just to feel a little less wretched. and to feel someone breathing under my hand. it could heal me. i promise that's all i'd ever ask. i would never meet her again. forgive me

trying to come up with reasons for why to try to start up a small cottage business, one big one. i need the money. i need an interest. i need a project and a way to participate in life. i like produce and making things. I like my product. I wish I had a partner to help me. I often want sexual comforts and romance and can't find it. I feel so alone and poor while others wouldn't bother doing this because they are pretend to be poor. I really am poor. I just can't get a real job so I have to create one. I can't make men love me. So I have to go without til one will like me. i need a future. it looks pathetic and small ideas. i wish i had more money, looks, creativity and someone who had faith in me to restore me.

I hate myself. I hate the way I look. The way I act. I just find myself one of the most disgusting people I know. I just wanna disappear tbh. I wish I looked different. I want to be a pretty girl so bad. A skinny girl. Idk. I have no body to tell so here I am, not like it matters.

It's bullshit. You were bullshit. What the actual hell. You were full of shit. And I thought it was love. You never really cared. Because if you did. You would've let me go from the first time you fucked up. You wouldn't have asked for a chance. You wouldn't have listened to me cry. You would've stopped and left. But you're so full of shit. I don't need to get over you. I was over a long time ago. I just wished you would've seen me. Actually see me for what I was in front of you. Begging on my knees but i guess my boobs were too small to catch your eyes. Maybe you didnt realise my existence and feelings by accident. You didn't see it, which is why you never realised it was over until I was gone. Now all I have left is pain. But I'm done. It's time to bury the body. Don't worry. I'll bring flowers. I mean I'm burying my wasted efforts. My wasted tears. My wasted virginity. My wasted time. And I have you to thank. My first but never last love?

Prayer for Financial Breakthrough Dear Lord, I thank you for everything you have done for me. I know that I a truly blessed. Lord I ask that you heal my finances so that I can save money and pay my bills. I ask that you turn both of businesses into very profitable and successful businesses. I ask that you send people to my website that will purchase products from my website this year. I pray that they will become repeat customers. I also ask that you send me clients that will pay me to do marketing for them this year. Amen Dear God, I come to You today seeking Your help and Your guidance. I am struggling financially and I need Your provision and Your protection. Please give me wisdom and discernment as I make decisions about my finances, and help me to trust in Your plan for my life. I pray for a financial breakthrough, for the abundance and prosperity that You have promised me. Please open doors of opportunity for me and lead me to the resources and the support that I need. I pray for

I self harm, like badly. I physically cannot bring myself to stop it and its causing me anemia it's gotten so bad. I keep buying better, sharper, easier blades to use. I keep doing it more every day. I've been doing this since I was 10-11. I'm terrified of myself and i know my body will never be the same so I don't want to give it up just so I have an excuse to hide myself. Nobody knows that I do it. I want to tell someone. So why not scream it out on the internet. I don't want to get better yet, but at the same time I want to stop being mentally ill. But I can't. I don't want advice here, I just want someone to know that I self harm and unserstand that it's an issue I have.