I Decided I want to be skinny...like extremely skinny. I've been looking at skeletal models and they look amazing, I can't help but imagine how I would look if I lost so much disgusting fat off me. But my family is getting suspicious of me, I wasn't good at hiding me skipping breakfast and lunch. They even told me to swear I ate. So I decided to plate my food and throw it away when they were not looking. My mother made pancakes for breakfast this morning, she told me to eat. Which I "did" took them to the Livin room with my tea and pretended to chew. And then when no on was looking threw it in the trash as well as pour the tea back. I know what they want. They want me to stay ugly and fat. I want to be happy and beautiful. And no amount of "your beautiful" will stop me. I don't care about myself or what happens to me, I just want to be skinny then I'll be happy. Because I'm sick of not being able to look at myself without me wanting to break the mirror. I can do it. And I will.

I’m scared that I gaslight people without knowing just like my mom gaslights me and my brothers. I don’t want to be like her.

I wouldn't mind dying right now. Im deployed and my husband doesn't trust me. He wants a divorce. Tbh i think it would b better....he has narcissistic personality disorder and adhd. So dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of his abuse while also having to constantly do things for him because of his extreme adhd is so tiring. And with me overseas his abuse and how his jealous tendencies get worse. He discredits all the ways he's hurt and lied to me throughout our relationship. But one small thing happens and everything is suddenly my fault. When i bring up the ways he hurts me he acts like he never did anything wrong but he is so quick to point out my faults and name call and degrade me for his well being....im so tired. But im so scared to lose him...what a crazy feeling this is.

I’m a bigger guy and I have a belly fetish for big women…I’ll just keep this short and sweet. I really want to feel my sister in law’s belly bumping against my belly so bad! And that’s in a literal sense. No euphemism. I’m pretty much obsessed with the fantasy at this point.

i dated a guy who was 20 when i was 14 and this same guy had sex with his step sister, who was my best friend. i still feel so guilty about it sometimes

Jeez ok I have 2 personalitys and one of them is the one everyone knows as a kind stubborn funny and what not artist but that's not really me. I'm an person who likes hearing about people dying and I'm not kind at all I just think of ways to hurt people and when I heard my dad was dying I hate to say it but I hoped he would die and I keep hearing voices in my head telling me to starve and kill myself like wow how fucked up am I. Honestly I only have one friend I don't want to be her friend because Im scared one I'm going to hurt her.for so many years I had to pretend I was someone else but no no no no no no no no no no I am so close to ripping my skin off I can't keep pleasing my parents I traced others people art for so long just to convince my parents I'm not a failure but now I don't do that anymore thank god for that at least I'm still an artist tho anyways I don't know how to please my parents anymore school has gone harder and Im breaking. I can't stand to live anymore Im done.

im inlove with my bestfriend, like real love the movies type love, but she has a boyfriend and shes not gay. when i look at her it feels like everything is going to be okay for once. Shes the only reason why im still here

Haven, I am in love with you. I have to write this somewhere, to at least feel as though it has been said aloud. I feel so deeply that we are soulmates, that it kills me to be near you and think that it might never happen. I am holding hope tightly, wishing, waiting, expecting you to wake up and realise it. I know you have a crush on me and won't say anything, I can see it, feel it, whenever you are nearby. You are scared, I know it. When I look deeply into your eyes everything melts away, and it's just you and I. I dream of having a life with you. I want you to know I feel so deeply for you. I have never felt this way for anyone in the past. I want a future with you. I hope that soon you can feel comfortable enough in your own skin to admit to me your feelings toward me. There are things you have to set aside before you can truly know yourself, distractions are keeping you from seeing the fire in your soul, and you need to let them go, I know you understand.Yours forever, I love you.